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Covid Recovery
Jan. 10th, 2025 09:59 amGot Covid and fell into a headspace where I identified as an "avolitional lump". Had desires and goals like "drink more powdered Propel" and "find a way to sleep" and "recover". I usually enjoy daydreaming about the coming year on New Year's and setting intentions but I couldn't get myself to do it, beyond a vague feeling I want to read more books and do more creative writing and maybe go to more gay social settings.
The part of me that wants and works towards more than this slowly grows back. I've been cleared to take crisis calls for [org redacted] and I finally sent off my grad school application. I started making notes for a very humble creative project.
I need to shape my New Year's intentions so they align with a value and concrete goals but for now I'm happy with them-- would probably just add "learning in general" so I don't fetishize written books. I feel I'd like to read long-form writing with a more extensive editing process and/or from someone working on their specialty, but I just also want exposure to more ideas and concrete details about the world. I love reading oral history interviews because they don't require intense concentration or activation energy but they're rich in these kind of details and they generally come from outside my bubble (meaning I will get more new takes and more references to unknown places and people). But I also want to stretch myself and not consume pure "comfort food".
Glad to be exiting lumphood.
The part of me that wants and works towards more than this slowly grows back. I've been cleared to take crisis calls for [org redacted] and I finally sent off my grad school application. I started making notes for a very humble creative project.
I need to shape my New Year's intentions so they align with a value and concrete goals but for now I'm happy with them-- would probably just add "learning in general" so I don't fetishize written books. I feel I'd like to read long-form writing with a more extensive editing process and/or from someone working on their specialty, but I just also want exposure to more ideas and concrete details about the world. I love reading oral history interviews because they don't require intense concentration or activation energy but they're rich in these kind of details and they generally come from outside my bubble (meaning I will get more new takes and more references to unknown places and people). But I also want to stretch myself and not consume pure "comfort food".
Glad to be exiting lumphood.
